how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Randomize
