Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
