wakey wakey hands off snakey
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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