Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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