was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
