He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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