The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
