so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
