he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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