drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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