I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
