You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
