I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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