just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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