the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I currently don't understand fingers.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
