I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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