Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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