I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
tell me about the eggs
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
