and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Success! We fucked roommates!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
