He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
