I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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