I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
