Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
