YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
