why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
