Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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