Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
