My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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