We're like a lot better than the average bears
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
