Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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