So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
