Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
