i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
