Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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