Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
