Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
