You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
