Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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