i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
