that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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