ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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