I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize