make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
