did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
