Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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