She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
