I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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