I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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