I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
