...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
