We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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