he shaved USA in his pubs
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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