Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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