i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
