i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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