So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
