we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
