I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
third nipple confirmed
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
